i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
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