The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
there is glitter all over my balls
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