Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Randomize
