I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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