So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
My breasts were aching with rage.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
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