ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
