I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
Randomize