i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
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