I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
Randomize
