I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
Randomize
