I'm really into asian looking animals
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
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