The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Randomize
