So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
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