I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
