I can text with my tongue
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
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