This dress was meant to end up on your floor
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Randomize
