oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Randomize
