Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
Randomize
