True but thats because hes a fetus.
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize
