There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
Randomize
