wat bout pragnant strippers??
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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