I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
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