There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
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