He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
