Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
my shit smells like andre
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
i've created a new STD.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
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