He disabled his match.com account in front of me
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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