your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
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