I thought I drunk dialed Adam last night and left him a voicemail. I just checked my phone. I realize I left a drunk voicemail with my son's teacher.
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
Randomize
