Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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