U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
