if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize
