if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
Sex in the backyard? Check.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
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