There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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