I wannas sexs uuuuu
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
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