this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
Randomize
