Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
are you so shy because you have an std?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize