btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
