I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
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