Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize
