rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
My bed is full of blood and feathers
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
Dick very happy bro
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
