I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
Pants are for mortals
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Randomize
