Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
Randomize
