So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
fuck your aforementioned shoe
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
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