Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
