why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
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