I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Randomize
