this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
Randomize
