Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
