great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
