New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
