Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
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I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
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Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
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