My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
Randomize
