yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize
