oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
You pole danced in your parka.
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Randomize
