hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
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