the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
Randomize
