So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
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so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
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What drink are we having for lunch?
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
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