I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
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