he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
On my way home I saw a car that had "MOVE OVER PLZ" emblazoned across the windshield backwards, so people could see it in their rearview mirror
If I ever drive for Lyft or Uber I'm definitely gonna do that
Randomize
