god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Randomize
