Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
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