She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Randomize
