How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
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